Will the Misery Never End

5AM

Post Coffee

I mean seriously.  Baby G woke up at 5:00 AM this morning, which was expected.  I was breast feeding and rocking away in the nursing chair, when in roamed my four year old talking as if he had taken a hit of speed.  I heard his conversation start in the other room and he just continued it all the way into the nursery and I was so tired that I was not even sure it was real.

It is amazing how a child will wake up, I mean literally open their eyes in bed and begin a deep deep dialogue with THE ATMOSPHERE.  It was 0 to 120 in a split second.

His conversation ran something like this: "Oh, I am getting up, but I need my dog, where's my dog, there's my dog, you come on dog.  I got you dog.  It is dark in here, the sun is still sleeping, but I'm not.  hahahahahaha. I am getting up and watch Curious George, but where is the remote control, did my mom DVR it?  Where is my mom, did she make my milk, I bet Baby G is drinking her milk. (He crosses into the nursery where I am indeed feeding Baby G my milk).  There's my mom.  Hi mom, did you DVR Curious George, do you have my milk, hey what's that sound?  Are you turning the TV on?  My dad is still asleep, am I going swimming?  Will I see Miss Pat?....."

Again, all this sounded like an ice pick to my temple to me.  I was just so tired, but I rallied.  I thought to go run, but had a serious dose of the mom guilt.  I hated to leave my four year old vegged out in front of the TV with no one awake in the house while I took the baby for a run in the jog stroller.  Also, it was worrisome, as he may have roamed out in search of me if he needed something.  SO, I busied myself with making coffee and getting the house ready to head out to swim.

I did not have high hopes for swim and then just as we needed to walk out the door, Baby G fell sound asleep so I put him down for a nap and began working on general tasks of housewifery.  We were inordinately late to swim and then when I had been in the pool for a measly 800 meters (long course on Fridays!!), the nursery workers came to get my from the pool as Baby G was inconsolable.

It was frustrating to say the least.  As soon as I got to the nursery, Baby G took one look at me and laughed the baby laugh of a baby who knows that he has won.  He has screamed loud enough to make his mother get out of the pool, walk all the way to the nursery in her wet bathing suit, and take him from the nursery workers who will now not take him back.

SO, Baby G and I went to the locker room, and I looked into his baby saucer eyes and said, "You may have gotten me out of the pool, BUT I must take a shower."  SO, I pushed his stroller into the handicap shower and shampooed and conditioned my hair while he wailed, wailed wailed.  Oooh he was so upset.

And I will confess to you, that I felt very sorry for myself.  It is a first world problem.  I realize that as opposed to "I have to walk 10 miles at great peril to get food for my family", all I really have to say is that, "I went to the gym to get in a workout and I only got to swim 800 meters, because the baby cried."

Anyway, tomorrow, I am going to get to run with my running group.  I am pretty excited about getting back out there. It will be a ten miler!!!

Thursday: An Update on My Workout Status

5 AM run face

While I greatly dislike waking up at 5AM, I have to admit that it is efficient AND it prevents me from running around all day like a full on slob.  Baby G is currently wide awake at 5 AM.  He eats and then looks at me with eyes like saucers as if to say, "what's next, mamasita?".  On Monday, I tried to stare Baby G down with my steely eyes, but he cared not at all.  On Tuesday, I watched two infomericals.  I am pretty sure that I NEED the WEN hair care system that would, FOR SURE, give me lucious Kardashian hair.  Also, the magic bullet seems to be completely necessary.  

After a full Tuesday morning of infomercials, I realized that this could not go on.  Baby G and I cannot just wake at 5:00 AM and stare at the tube like zombies.  SO, I threw him in the jog stroller on Wednesday morning and we had a very successful jog stroller run.  So this morning when the 5AM wake up call sounded, I popped G right into the jog stroller and got in a longer run.  It was great.  I was showered with my hair blown dry and my nose powdered before I ever took my oldest to nursery school. Thrilling. Normally on Thursday's, I run on the YMCA treadmill and just hope I get a shower sometime before bedtime.  

Swimming right now is going over like a lead balloon.  I swam 700 yards on Wednesday before Glenda the nursery matron came to tell me that Little G was not having it.  9:30 found me breast feeding in the locker room before trying to return Baby G to the nursery, where he was not accepted.  Apparently once you are ousted for a crying meltdown, you do not get to return.  I had to ride home in my bathing suit and pool hair, everyone's naps were messy and my early wake up made me irritable.  

Lately, however it does not seem like it takes too much to make me irritable.  

Baby G Split My Transverse Muscle

Womp Womp

So for the past 6 months, I have been running my pants off, swimming as if for my life, doing pilates and all sort of ab work as if my life depended on it.  I guess in a way, life as I know it does.  All this work and my post baby stomach was not budging an inch.  It is just as if someone has cut a cantaloupe in half and set in on my stomach for good.  I am sort of ashamed to say how much I have fretted over it.  I realize that I should be grateful for my healthy children and the privilege of being a mother, but must it be at the price of my hard won abdominals?

Like I said, I have fretted, taken pilates, run, swam and and generally busied myself with physical maintenance, all to no avail.  My sister asked her OB about it and he said it was unremediable.  I googled until my eyes crossed, and came up with a consistent theme: Tranversus Abdominus.  My  abdominal transverse muscle was split.  I googled how to feel for it and test to see if I could get two fingers between the muscle (lay on your back on the floor, bend your knees with feet on the floor, raise your head as if doing a crunch.  Feel for the muscle cords going up your middle.). If you can get two fingers, or more, between those muscles, your transversus abdominus is split.

I tested myself and I could not quite tell.  I could get two fingers in, but not easily.  There was not much room.  This left me in a quandry, and I was forced to seek professional help.  I started asking around a the yay old YMCA for trainers specializing in post-baby boot camp type stuff and was referred to Christin.  SHE felt my transverse muscle for me and confirmed that my transversus abdominus was definitely still split.

I was actually kind of relieved to find out it was "something".  Before asking, I was sort of afraid that Christin would take one look at me and say, "You know, Hot Lips, we don't all have bodies like Sara Jessica Parker when we turn 35.  Buy yourself a mumu and a one piece bathing suit with a skirt and throw in the towel, because you are middle aged." This is not what Christin, whom I now consider to by my most special friend, said to me.

She said, "You are disciplined.  Your body is in great shape.  I am going to give you a list of exercises that you need to do EVERY day and you can have this whipped in three weeks."  She proceeded to tell me that once the transverse muscle is tightened, the half canteloupe will pull back in and give me a flat stomach.  Also, once pulled back in, I can go back to crunching and pilates, and it will all work together.  Right now, pilates and crunches are only sort of exacerbating the situation as my transverse is not tight enough to benefit from these exercises.

SO, every day I am doing:
1) 200 transverse pulses where I sit on a pilates ball and tighten everything and pulse my abs in and out while pushing my belly button to my spine.
2) 50 toe taps where I lay flat on the floor with a tennis ball on my belly button, tighten everything, set my knees in table top and tap each toe on the ground for 50 taps
3) 20 leg levers where the tennis ball is on my stomach and everything tightened, lifting my legs up and down
4) two minute long planks with everything tight

I can already tell a difference.  My stomach is better, quite a bit.  I am dubious about the long term status of my belly button, but I plan to keep working on it.  I am not seeking out the help of a good plastics man just yet.

Foods To Make: Black Bean Brownies

I am amazed by the fabulousness of this recipe.  My friend Becky gave it to me and I was dubious, but it rocked my world!!

Ingredients

• 1 (15.5 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
• 3 eggs
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1 pinch salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon instant coffee (optional)
• 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease an 8x8 square baking dish.
2. Combine the black beans, eggs, oil, cocoa powder, salt, vanilla extract, sugar, and instant coffee in a blender; blend until smooth; pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top of the mixture.
3. Bake in the preheated oven until the top is dry and the edges start to pull away from the sides of the pan, about 30 minutes.

Nutritional Information 

Amount Per Serving  Calories: 126 | Total Fat: 5.3g | Cholesterol: 40mgPowered by ESHA Nutrient Database

Returning to my Regularly Scheduled Workouts

This guy ran the Boston Marathon in these.  Can you believe it?

So now that the marathon is two weeks over and I have taken two weeks off working out, I have returned to my regular workout schedule, and it is really not going well.  Swim was yesterday and I was only able to get in about 2500 yards before the nursery workers came chasing me down in the lap lane.  Baby G was inconsolable and just not have any more of the nursery.

As I may have said before, nursery policy is to stop what you are doing immediately and head down to pick up your child.  So, I had to drag myself down to the nursery dripping in my bathing suit and pick up all my children and tote everyone home.  My hair was a chlorine nightmare and my skin was absolutely scaly.

Today was more of the same.  I attempted to go for a run with the jog stroller and Baby G just would not have it.  Wailing commenced 0.5 miles into my four mile run and 0.75 miles found me pushing the jog stroller with one hand and holding Baby G in the other.  He was thrilled to be toted along.

I have to say it is all a bit wearing.  However, we will sync back up and get back into our schedule.  We did actually get to have a trip to the YMCA in the afternoon that went very well.  Everyone was happy and I was able to take a shower and shave both legs.  What a thrill!!

Anyway, tomorrow I am trying swim again.