Honestly

Woe is Me!!

You know, this morning when it happened, I did not say "honestly".  I said something much much worse, and I am taking sides with the person who says that if a tree falls in the forrest and no one hears it, it does not make a sound.  No one else heard the pretty hard core expletives that I find that this type of situation generally elicits from me.  Anyway, I have to chide myself for having such a meltdown at 4:57 AM, everyone has had the bottom fall out of their mason jar.

Every night, I set a glowing green smoothie on the countertop to thaw out before morning.  THIS MORNING, when I picked up my mason jar of glowing green smoothie, the bottom fell off.  The bottom of the mason jar hit the tile and broke into a million pieces AND THEN the smoothie fell out of the bottom.  The smoothie hit the floor so hard that it splashed THE CEILING.  The floor was covered and the cabinets were all splashed.  I could go on all day about the baseboards, the windows, the all of it.

It amazes me how things like that always happen to me when I am in a huge hurry to get out the door on  time.  I woke up at 4:55 AM, walked into the kitchen and ruined my morning.  Thursdays are bike ride mornings.  I meet my group at 5:25, and we try to be riding by 5:29 AM.  Everyone has work and I have to sprint home to feed the baby and we have to be on the road by 5:29.

A Glowing Green Smoothie explosion is nothing that you can just leave.  My marriage would not survive waking my husband to clean up my mess so that I could make my bike ride.  I had to clean it up. It had to be cleaned up, and while I worked lightening fast to get all the mess off the floor and sweep up the glass and wipe down the cabinets, it made me late.  I was 7 minutes late out the door, and it was super sad because as I whipped into the parking lot I could see my bike group cycling into the sunrise about 5 minutes ahead of me.

Five minutes on a swim, I might make up and five minutes on a run, I could definitely make up. Five minutes on the bike, and I might as well be dead.  SO, with heaviness of heart, I got all my gear together, and pedaled as fast as I could for 17 miles.  I never saw the group, and I was the lone cyclist.  Also, my cadence sensor never picked up.  It was all very sad, and if I had had a soundtrack to my morning, it would have all been written by The Fray.  It was that sad.

This is where I am not sure about myself.  When that mason jar hit the floor, should I have scrapped my ride.  Should I have just said to myself, "this is not happening for me today.  I am cleaning this up and getting back in bed."?  I knew that there was a good chance I would not make it on time.  Why didn't I just get back in bed? Even if I couldn't sleep, I could have read my book or prayed that the rest of my day would be an improvement over recent events.

Instead, I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off, still arrived late and then got stuck in morning traffic because I got back to my car late.  Morning traffic turns on a dime, by the way. Ten minutes later than usual, and it is gridlock.

I sort of enjoyed the ride, however, even though I didn't go as fast as I would have liked.  16.5 miles per hour is fast for me, but I had been reaching upwards of 18 miles an hour with the group.  There is nothing like a group to encourage your speed.