Thursday: Run and Pilates and I need to let a few things go, but I know myself and I will not let anything go

SO, maybe Baby G just kept waking up last night.  He started fussing about at 3:00 AM, and it just kept going on. Then when he had been fed, then topped off, then soothed back to sleep while I rocked him and shivered in front of a space heater, I could not go back to sleep.  SO, I was left curled up in bed under my electric blanket reading a book on my husband's ipad which he just needs to go ahead and understand belongs to me.  And this is why:  I, Betsy Sloan, have been waking up with the baby umpteen times a night, getting the baby into a sleep schedule and ironing my husband's pants, YES, ironing his pants, all while still putting on make up in the mornings and sometimes, even hot rolling my hair.  I think it goes without saying in our household that the ipad has been relinquished to me.

Now, my 4:00 AM reading is currently a book called 1000 White Women . The jury is still out on whether or not I actually think this is a great read.  The novel is about an idea of 1000 white women integrating with an Indian tribe during the presidency of Ulysses S. Grant.  The concept is interesting, but I have some critiques of the book.  It is a fast read one way or the other.

When I am breast feeding, I read a lot.  I have all this time where I am tied to the nursing chair and I usually read the whole time.  I can hit up to two books a week, and I have a long list of books to report to you.  After reading this novel, I have two non-fictions on deck and it is pretty exciting.  I will get going on my book reports soon, I think.  Also, I usually get into mini-series with my trapped in the nursing chair time and I am currently a big devotee of Downton Abbey. Though I think everyone is right now.

Anyway, though sleep deprived and saddled with one trillion things to do, I made myself a promise that when my pregnancy was over, I would try reformer pilates.  The reformer is a huge machine that you strap into, and the levers and pulleys stretch you this way and that, all the while working out your abs and improving your posture.

Reformer pilates was my entire push for joining the Maryland Farms YMCA, and my experience there has so far been a delight.

So today, I took a double private lesson with a friend, and it was great.  I have been stretched and strengthened and I loved it.  Though, as per usual, I was a workout class party foul.  It happens to me all the time.  Here is why: I run out of time for my cardio and I show up at my next thing DRIPPING sweat like a waterfall.  It is ridiculous.  In my initial plans, I thought that I, Betsy Sloan, would arrive at the YMCA in a timely manner and run on the treadmill, before cooling down, taking a shower and arriving at pilates calm and collected.  Confession: I have never arrived anywhere calm and collected.

Here is what really happened: I dropped my older son off at nursery school.  As I was leaving him in his classroom, I noticed a strange bulge in his pajamas (it was pajama day) and he was packing (PACKING!!!!).  He had managed to stick his cap gun in his waistband as if it was a holster and was sneaking into school with the gun.  SO, I had to set down the baby carrier containing my three month old, wrestle the gun away from my three year old, explain just why we do not take guns to nursery school, explain that there was no need to defend the nursery school from  "bad guys", and confiscate said weapon.

This cap gun incident set me back half an hour, putting me late to the grocery and late to the post office, then a feeding with Little G, impromptu visitors, and my refusal to even think about giving up my treadmill run led me to arrive at pilates dripping sweat like a river from every pore. To get my treadmill run in before my pilates class, I had to set the treadmill at an inhuman pace and sprint like a cheetah was chasing me for 20 minutes.  I then thieved an extra towel from the YMCA and made haste to the YMCA pilates studio where I dripped sweat all over the reformers.

It was pretty dirty, but I was unwilling to compromise either workout.  I was unwilling to compromise, and I think that sums up my drama with being a mom.  I cannot let go of anything.  I want my three year old to take amazing swimming lessons, I want him to learn to read early, I want to get in my workouts, I want to read, I want to write my blog, I want my three month old to have a perfect nap schedule, I want to knit a sweater and I want to eat eight vegetable servings every day.  I want to write all my thank you notes and I want to participate in a very academic Bible study.  I want to read my New Yorkers and I want everything ironed.  I want to maintain my job and look fabulous.  It cannot all happen and this means that I dripped sweat all over the reformers and grossed everyone out, I was late to pick up my son at nursery school, Little G's naps were not quite right, and I have still not ironed my husband's pants.

I have to let something fall by the wayside, but I have never been able to let myself let anything fall, I grasp it all until it gets rudely ripped out of my kung fu grip.